Sg-...Z?
by Caius
Summary: The first installment. While at Bloaty's with Gaz and his dad, Dib decides to check out the escape pod from ZIM's space station. Meanwhile, ZIM is out for revenge on some earth monsters... (I need advice on how SG-1 would react... IM me if ya can help.)


Disclaimer: I don't own Invader ZIM. Go away.

This, obviously, takes place right after Bloaty's Pizza Hog, so, additionally obviously, none of the episodes after Bloaty's ever happened…in this timeline. See, theory states that all choices we make diverge themselves into separate universes so that there are an infinite number of parallel universes…I've been watching too much StarGate SG-1. Check out ep's _Point of View _and _There But for The Grace of God _for more info.

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Dib chewed on his pizza as the cheese slid down his face. Another battle with ZIM over, but this time there was no victor. Gaz sat there, eating her food, as did his dad. 

"Uhm, Gaz, can you at least unstrap me?" Dib asked hopefully. Quick as a flash, he was free and Gaz was back to eating. He stared through the window out of the restaurant. He was very lucky that the Bloaty's mascots had driven off ZIM, and, there was no denying it, if Gaz had not come for him, he would have been dead at ZIM's hands and so would Earth.

A thought occurred to him. "Uh, dad? I'll be right back. I, um, have to go to the bathroom," Dib said, and marched off down a hallway toward not the restroom, but to the room in which the escape pod had crashed. 

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ZIM grimaced and rode the platform up to his VootCruiser containment room, namely, his house's roof. Those earth monsters at the smell-food place would pay dearly for insulting him. He had decided that they'd be the first to suffer his wrath, and since Dib was stuffing his noise hole with the cheesy goo that place peddled, it would only add to the satisfaction ZIM drew from destroying it.

"They shall regret incurring my swift wave of doom!" ZIM muttered under his breath as he powered up his VootCruiser and prepared for takeoff. The roof opened up slowly. His turned his head to look behind him.

"GIR! Get up here!" he shouted. Instantly GIR flew up from the outside of the house through threw opened roof and into the cruiser. 

An insane grin spread across ZIM's face as he moved his hand over the control console. Weapons were completely charged and ready for launch. It was nighttime, so he could easily blast the disgusting place and get back to his base before anyone suspected him of any foul play. The only one who usually would know it was he would soon be eradicated… Dib would soon be a threat no more.

Cackling manically, ZIM blasted the VootCruiser from the roof off into the night sky.

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Dib sat inside the cockpit of the pod, staring blankly at the controls. Through the window, he could see the slumbering fat man before him, but his attention remained on the unfamiliar console before him. He tried tapping a few buttons, and, to his amazement, the craft lifted off. As Dib stared down at the console, it was clear to him. The controls will similar to that of a video game's, even like the NanoShip's piloting mechanism; _that _was why Gaz has been able to pilot it so skillfully.

As the pod hovered outside the restaurant, Dib could an approaching purple-colored vessel. ZIM's ship!! Looking down at the controls, Dib pushed the one he hoped was the communications link.

"What?! _You _flying one of _my _ships? Well, human, I doubt you can out pilot me, so destroying you should be an easy victory!" ZIM barked over the speakers. Dib leaned in closer to it, eyes narrowed.

"We'll see, ZIM!" he challenged. Looking down onto the console once more, he made the pod rise up into the air and he tried to find weapons to use against ZIM. The alien's ship rose up as well.

ZIM's craft flew forward and fired shimmering purple energy spheres at Dib's pod. The pod was hurtled backwards, but Dib was able to get control back quickly enough to avoid crashing into anything. ZIM's ship had turned away and was heading for Bloaty's Pizza Hog. Dib's eyes opened wide. ZIM was going to decimate the restaurant! Gaz, his dad, all the innocents inside! …What could he do? He got an idea.

"Hey, ZIM! Catch me if you can!!" Dib shouted over the still-open communication link. He then less-than-skillfully turned the pod around and raced out of the city. ZIM was following him.

"Ready to meet with your fate, Dib?" ZIM laughed over the link. His ship charged Dib's once again, but this time Dib had something ready. His hand gripped the joystick in front of him and as ZIM fired more energy spheres at him, he returned fire with a blast from a laser turret. 

The two weapons impacted each other and exploded into a great disk-shaped blast of blue and purple. It created a magnetic field that welded the two ships together and hurtled them off into an indeterminable direction. The two cockpits were stuck up right against each other, leaving ZIM and Dib to stare each other down as they flew through the night sky.

"You fool! Look what you've done!" ZIM yelled as GIR ran around in his ship screaming.

Dib snorted. "ME?! You're the one with the—"

But Dib's sentence was cut short as they crash-landed at the base of a mountain and skidded through a tunnel inside, unbeknownst to them, a top-secret military base.

The two ships and their pilots lay smoking in a heap as guards armed with guns slowly moved in…

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And so ends the first chapter. I hope I can get the characters of the SGC down right…wish me luck, and give me forgiveness if I can't!!


End file.
